Being diagnosed with genital herpes can truly take a toll on you. But perhaps the most terrifying bit about it is disclosing that information to your lover. It takes courage to do so, often because you could be feeling embarrassed about it, but especially since you are afraid they will reject you. Nevertheless, it is of uttermost importance that you tell your partner about the condition.
If you do it well, your relationship will most likely survive the diagnosis. In any case, your conscience will be at ease after you tell your boyfriend about the condition, regardless of the outcome. But the question still begs, how do I tell my boyfriend I have genital herpes? Here is how to:
How to Disclose the Information
Do your research well
Before you bring up the topic of your infection, do as much research about it as you possibly can. Learn what the diagnosis means for you and your boyfriend. You will be surprised to learn that a huge portion of the population actually suffers from the condition. Another pleasant surprise will be the fact that the condition can be easily managed, which will reduce your worries a great deal. A solid grasp of the facts about genital herpes will most certainly have the effect of calming you down, and when you are agonizing on how you will break the news to him, you need all the consolation you can get. Besides, it will help you appreciate that there is a life beyond the diagnosis, which may not be very easy to see once the bombshell about the diagnosis has been dropped on you.
Choose you Language with care
So you now know all there is to know about genital herpes. Now, you have to master the courage to break the news to your guy. The basic rule to follow here is to stay as neutral about the condition as possible. This means that you must not sound panicky about it. Bring it up as casually as you can, and aim to keep things that way. Insist that you value honesty in your relationship, and as such, there is something important you have to tell him. Then go ahead to state simply that you have been diagnosed with genital herpes, and tell him all you have learnt about the condition.
Throwing in some statics to show that the condition is not as grave as the social stigma it receives could ease your task a great deal. Also, insist that the condition is not life altering, and that your life can continue normally in spite of the condition. Telling your boyfriend about the infection in a calm, level- headed way is the best strategy to break the news to him. Avoid melodrama at all costs, and other statements that give the impression that your world is caving in, because you never know in what direction the fear they inspire will sway your partner.
Pick the Best Time
Besides how you word your statements, you also need to pick the time of breaking the news to your significant other carefully. The best time to do so is when the two of you are together, perhaps relaxing or taking a walk. Telling him of the condition when he is at work is a definite no- no, and so is breaking the news right before you have sex. Pick a neutral time to break the news, and remember to do it with a positive mindset.
Give Them the Space They Need
If your significant other asks you for some time to think things over, give them as much time and space as they need. Your diagnosis will have an impact on his life too, so he should have his say about it. However, you shouldn’t worry too much that the relationship will end only because of the diagnosis. Although there is no guarantee, statistics show that many relationships survive a genital herpes diagnosis. Have faith that yours will, too.
Accept Yourself Unconditionally
The bottom line of being diagnosed with genital herpes is that it is not the end of the world. Regardless of how your partner reacts to the news, remember you need to accept yourself unconditionally. Although the question: how do I tell my boyfriend I have genital herpes? May nag you for a long time, take consolation in the fact that no matter how he takes it, you will still have your own back. But hopefully, he will support you through it all, as many others have done through the years.
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